La carta que sigue a continuación fue dirigida al nieto Jared, la noche antes de éste confesarle a su familia y a su abuelo que él era gay. El señor Allen es un policía retirado y en un momento en su carrera fue comandante del Valle de San Fernando. Tuvo una asignación de enseñar una clase de tolerancia y sobre los issues gay de la comunidad.

Sus compañeros hasta bromeaban y lo tildaron el "gay comandante". Seguramente esta importante asignación lo preparó y lo ayudó a escribir tan elocuente y emocionante carta a su nieto Jared. Saquen el pañuelo o los tisúes porque contiene unos momentos extraordinariamente humanos. Está dividida en las cosas que nunca cambiarán; las cosas que sé; algunos peligros y la sección de sugerencias y esperanzas.

Disfruten una palabras sabias de un abuelo que adora a su nieto.

Dear Jared:

Things that won't ever change

Our love and admiration and respect for you are in no way diminished. There is no one on this earth we love more than you.

We are here for you in every way. Absolutely anything you want to ask us or tell us will stay between us. I want you to view us as ones you can always count on for love and support.

You have a very bright and promising future. The world is already a better place because of your contributions to it, and there is no limit to what you can accomplish. None of that has changed.

We are absolutely delighted that you have decided to come out now! In true Jared fashion, you have analyzed the situation, weighed the alternatives, and chosen the right course. The earlier the better. No point in wasting time pretending. Everyone who loves you now will love you always.

Things I know

The precise factors leading to one's sexual orientation are not known. It is known that they vary among individuals.

Freud has been proven wrong in most all of his beliefs. He attributed homosexuality solely to environmental factors. Psychoanalysts looked for those factors in patients they were "treating" for homosexuality. They always found them somehow, to some extent. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy. Interestingly, near the end of his life, Freud said in a footnote that future scholars would probably find that homosexuality has a biological basis.

The most recent studies (including those of identical twins) have shown a strong biological element in the equation. Also, there are predictive factors. For example, very early cross-gender behavior such as boys wanting to dress or play like girls is highly predictive that they will be gay. It isn't the activity that makes them become gay, it's the biological predisposition that draws them to the cross-gender activity.

This much is very clear: People don't choose their sexual orientation. The term "sexual preference" is a misnomer. Some gay men are very comfortable with their orientation and would not choose to change it if they could. Others would change it. Those who would change it are unable to do so. They might change their behavior, but they cannot change their orientation. They did not choose it and cannot "unchoose" it. Thousands of gay men have gone to therapists and/or psychiatrists trying to change their orientation. Obviously, they can't simply unchoose it. There has never been a single documented case of anyone changing his/her sexual orientation.

And why would they want to? Because until the 1970s, homosexuality was listed among psychiatric disorders by the American Psychiatric Association. And there was considerable rejection of homosexuals by society as a whole. Part of that was fueled by religious zealots who quoted some of the Bible's most ridiculous dogma.

Homosexuality is no more abnormal than redheadedness or left-handedness. Each of those conditions occurs regularly. There are fewer left-handed people than right-handed ones. But there have always been left-handed ones. Interestingly, many societies expended considerable effort to change such folks to right-handed. They may have changed their behavior, but not their orientation.

Some dangers

The male animal (charged with testosterone) is usually the aggressor sexually. That's plain to see among all mammals. I don't think we humans are much different. I don't think any mammals were designed to be monogamous. As a result, there is a segment of the gay community that is dangerously promiscuous. And they are not worried about your health.

That's not to say that there are no gay couples who are living happy, productive, monogamous lives. There are millions of them. They are present in every segment of society. Every profession, every craft and trade, every organization and institution.

Lots of gay men meet most of their new gay friends at gay bars. Those places are dynamite. Great care must be taken.

I think a great idea would be to talk to some squared-away gay folks for ideas about where to meet people and what dangers to anticipate. I know several such folks and can certainly help in that regard if you ask me to.

Gay activism is a two-edged sword. On the one hand, acceptance of gays has been greatly enhanced because of the efforts of gay activists. The flip side is that some of them, like any activists, attribute all of their problems to discrimination. To them, anyone who disagrees with them on any issue is homophobic.

Some suggestions and hopes

Above all, be true to yourself! Stand up and be proud. Share whatever you want to with whomever you choose.
You are among the smartest people we know. We really, sincerely, know of no other person as compassionate and genuinely caring as you. Please don't waste any time feeling like you have let anybody down or that you have any cause to be ashamed or alarmed. Most people you encounter will be ignorant regarding homosexuality. Not much you can do about that except to choose your friends accordingly.

Be happy. You are an absolute winner! A truly wonderful world is out there waiting for you. Our fondest hope is that you drink it all in and enjoy it fully.

-Grandpa

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Además nuestro portal tiene actualmente las siguientes figuras en el espacio Orgullo del momento de las distintas secciones. Conózcalos y celebremos todos sus ejecutorias y sus éxitos.

Puerto Rico Rainbow Foundation

Ricky Martin

Borrowing Time
A Latino Sexual Odyssey

Carlos Sánchez Presidente de Pro-Vida

Christina Hayworth Fundadora de la Parada de Orgullo Gay

Rafi Fernández
1967-2004
Animador y productor de televisión

Adria Cruz
Columnista de Primera Hora

Sandra Cardona y Wanda I. Paniagua
de Eclipse Lunnar Corporation

Revista Colony
Publicación dirigida a la comunidad gay de Puerto Rico.

El periódico Puerto Rico Breeze
Primer periódico de la comunidad gay boricua.

Myrna Casas
La Primera Dama del Teatro Boricua

Afiche de Nuevos Tiempos
Promoción de la revista Nuevos Tiempos durante el mes de Orgullo Gay en Puerto Rico.

Christina Hayworth
Fundadora de la Parada de Orgullo Gay bajo el nombre de Herencia de Orgullo, activista y sobreviviente de Stonewall.

Rev. Margarita Sánchez
Activista

Pedro Peters
Activista y columnista

Mayra Montero
Escritora

Nuevos Tiempos
Notirevista LGBTT Boricua.

Mirtha Rubio & Nono Maldonado
Puerto Rico Fashion Designers Group

Dreuxilla Divine, conocida también como la Fashion Diva.

Keith Allen quién le escribió una carta a su nieto la cual fue publicada en www.advocate.com.

COA
Coalición de Orgullo en Arco Iris

Antonia Pantoja - educator and community activist in the Puerto Rican community and a founder of some of the nation's longest-lasting Latino organizations and institutions.

Virginia Lacayo - co-executive producer and director of the Nicaraguan telenovela Sexto Sentido (Sixth Sense)

Fabián Cardona - reconocido por el Sistema de Bibliotecas de la Universidad de Puerto Rico por su aportación a la convivencia universitaria.

Robert Rosenburg - Fundador y director del Festival Filmico Gay y Lésbico de Miami

Rosie O'Donnell - Comediante, actriz, y presentadora de televisión.

Sila M. Calderón - Gobernadora de Puerto Rico

Sammy es bartender querendón en Atlantic Beach Hotel...el lo sabe hacer mejor...

Raúl Torres es uno de los dueños de Maroma.

Gina González es dueña del restaurante Yerbabuena.

José Joaquín Mulinelli es activista y animador radial en Saliendo del Clóset.

Rafael Otero es Presidente de la Junta de Directores de Fundación SIDA de Puerto Rico.

Ineabelle Arroyo dirige el Club Sebastián.

Luis A. Pedraza González,  Director Ejecutivo en propiedad de la Fundación SIDA de Puerto Rico

Sus recomendaciones serán bienvenidas y pueden enviarlas a
comunidad@orgulloboricua.net

Entérate de:

Orgullo comunitario

Orgullo espiritual

Orgullo humorístico

Orgullo histórico

Orgullo investigativo

Orgullo léxico